I landed on the wrong planet

The bell chimed as he walked in for the second time. "Hey! It's been a while," said the man at the bar. "I need a drink," said he as he shook his head, trying to dispel the uncomfortable truth repeatedly spanking him sensuously. And that is how we find our hero, sipping something muddy on another planet.

Name:
Location: Yaadhum Oore. Yaavarum Kelir

I am a bad imitation of don Quixote.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Impossible!

For the person whose individual evolution depends on a bubble of experience and influence that does not extend beyond the frugal boundaries of his inherent self; for the person whose existence is marked by cyclic milestones of trouble and misery; this person who knows for sure that he has been singled out out of the millions of species to bear the brunt of the attack that life has in store - for this person, it is an inability - the logical culmination of a universe that will not leave him alone. A life that has been unfair, seeming to give him disadvantages for no reason, can only be expected to riddle him with inabilities.

Give me strength to attempt the impossible. For it is the impossible that marks a great man. Failure to do the impossible is the work of pure genius. For it is no disability on his part. It is just the final task. The successful completion of the impossible is a paradox, for it must follow that he had merely overcome a disability. Overcoming a difficulty is evolution. Attempting the impossible is deviation.

And these deviant humans are the ones who know that impossibility is merely an inevitability. For the purpose of an impossibility is not to taunt the human race, but to single out those that have risen beyond human cognition.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Customer care

That's F. Karthik. F for foxtrot.

Foxtrot, sir? Can you spell that?

What? No! You don't need to spell 'foxtrot'! It starts with 'f' and that is my initial!

Your initial is F, sir?

Yes. F as in foxtrot.

Foxtrot, sir?

Look. Forget about the foxtrot, okay. My name is F. Karthik.

Can you tell me what the F stands for?

It stands for my father's name!

What is your father's name?

How does that matter?

Nothing. I just never heard of an Indian name starting with F.

Well, his name is Fanibhushan.

And your name is Karthik?

Yes.

What does it mean, sir?

Karthik?

No. Fanibhushan.

It means the wearer of snakes. It is Shiva's name.

Your father's name is Shiva?

No. I am talking about Lord Shiva.

And your name is Karthik! Very nice, sir.

Look, are you going to give me the credit card or not?

Definitely sir. Could you please confirm your last name, sir?

I don't have a last name. F. Karthik is my name. I am a south indian.

Verywellsir. Youhavejustconfirmedtomeyourfirstnameandyourlastnamesir. PleasestandbyasIredirectyoutoourcustomercarecenter. ThankyouforcallingICICIbank. Haveanicedaysir.

What? Hello?

Goodmorning, thisisFoolendu. Fortherecords, pleasestateyourname, sir.

Uh....Foolendu? What does that mean?

I don't know sir. Could you please furnish me with your details, sir?

Um....sure. My name is F. Karthik.

F, sir?

Yes. F as in fuck off?