I landed on the wrong planet

The bell chimed as he walked in for the second time. "Hey! It's been a while," said the man at the bar. "I need a drink," said he as he shook his head, trying to dispel the uncomfortable truth repeatedly spanking him sensuously. And that is how we find our hero, sipping something muddy on another planet.

Name:
Location: Yaadhum Oore. Yaavarum Kelir

I am a bad imitation of don Quixote.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

Silence of the lambs - and bloggers

Who's there?! Speak up, I tell you! I am warnin' you, I am armed!

*wakes up in cold sweat*

Where's the party, yaar? Where are the people? Where're the chicks? Where's the booze? Where's the grub?

I swear I must have missed the Big Briefing in Sky (courtesy Richard Bach)! Either I have forgotten the rules of this world, or they have changed.

Apparently, clause B of paragraph A in appendix 2A of 'How to blog on this f**kin' planet - Vol. 2' says: "Thou shalt not 'blog' if thou do not know anyone who 'blog'th"

Hmm. May be I should advertise? Probably keep clicking the 'Next Blog' button and post an advertising comment on every blog that says, "Nice blog! Oh, by the way, have you visited confusedmartian's blogspot? It's so cool.... I am the martian by the way!" Nope. Doesn't sound too encouraging.

I am not this guy who wants people around to ascertain confidence. I can do without crowd. But I don't like being alone. It would definetely feel nice when you've got people around to tell you you're great. Right now, I don't mind those voices that say 'You Suck'!

This should have been the most sloppily advertised blog ever! Five paragraphs of non-stop bickering, asking people to comment. I feel like throwing up.

Okay. Let's get things straight. You post comments, I'll give you the works, and nobody gets hurt!

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

War of the Sexes!

When you've got 'em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.

Wise guy! I tell you, it's not easy being a guy.

Men are characterized by their mule-headedness, their stupidity, their incoherence, in ability to face practical matters, and a complete surrender to the female species of this planet.

Men think from between their legs. No wonder many leaders have gone to waste because of women. Ceasar, Achilles (right?), Hitler (due to the lack of women in his life, actually) and good ol' Bill!

I am not a chauvinist. Don't get me wrong. I think women are the most amazing things the Great Lord ever did.

But all said and done, I go completely bonkers and incoherent and 'duh...' when I see a girl naked or even half-naked. When at that time, if she goes like, "Daarrling.....about that mink coat we saw today...", all I can do is nod sheepishly without having any idea what she is talking about. Our primeval desires overtake us and we are totally lost.

But have you ever wondered how many women inventors are there today. How many female astrophysicists and how many female researchers? How many women in Fiction or fantasy writing? How many poets? (or is it poetesses?)

We walk amidst the clouds and can't see the trees for the woods but is that wrong? Are women all narrow-minded or rather, too constrained to not be able to look up to the skies? Are the chains that hold them go further back than a mere hundred years? The bonds that hold them down can be shattered only by themselves, and yet, there is something in their bloods, their genes, a historic factor that inhibits them. Is this their fault or the rule?

Don't ask me! I am from Mars.

Monday, April 25, 2005

In the beginning...

What do you remember early in the morning? When you have just opened your eyes, what do you see? Our dreams, they are but a collage of blurred images, tumbling over each other. Sounds from a world long gone by, they are heard from a conciousness much beyond our understanding. And as hard as we try to remember it, it slips away just as easily. Like trying to hold water in our palms.

And sometimes, these dreams come back to haunt us. Suddenly, they become clear and real. Deja Vu is not a feeling. It's a phobia. The fact that you knew what was going to happen and yet you were not able to do anything until the last moment tells you how helpless you are. Fate. It is not merely our master. It is our enemy.

Predestined. What is predestined? Hero meets heroine and they are predestined for each other. What a boring world! Why can't the heroine have a change of heart and go out with the villain instead? Nothing is predestined. We are what we choose to be. Man proposes and he himself disposes.

There! There's a good train of thoughts! Probably not the perfect way to start of a blog but hey, what the heck! But it lacks humor, doesn't it? I too am a victim of generalisation. Anything that has humor is not serious enough. Jesus! Have we all become such boring people that we disregard humor?

Okay. I am off. It was nice talking to you.